Calm Before the Storm

Today i feel really good. Not about my poker in the past week or two because i have hardly played and when i have i have been slightly idiotic and loose, not really caring. But its dawned on me that i just havent been enjoying the game as much as i used to.

Scared in ways that i am not good enough to keep up even in the lower sngs and multis. Always wondering whether or not i did the right thing and always assuming i didn't. Because of this i'm getting bored very quickly with proceedings and opting for a more inane thing to do like ps3 or watching a film. Noticed that when i feel confident in my plays and self assured that i normally kill whatever game i play, mainly sngs and multis (self proclaimed fish at cash, but maybe i might give a fuck about improving myself in that?). My lack of confidence is because i am beating myself up about not being rolled enough to play higher multis and what is happeneing is i am winning loads one day and then the other i can tarnish all the good work when i feel shitty about the low stakes situation i have put myself in.

It's a sort of vicious cycle but i know there is only one way to get out of that and that is to face this shiz full on. Change all my bad habits and i mean all of them. I'm going to go cold turkey on everything i feel may be detrimental to my poker play. No booze, no junk food, more breaks in between poker sessions, more exercise and making sure that i leave myself no time to be completely bone idle. With this i will generally feel better. A healthy body is a healthy mind. Never had a healthy body. So does that mean all other fat people are as insane as me?

Going through a slight transition period now. I have realised that i am really looking forward to going back to uni for my final year in september and that i am going flat out to get the best grade possible and with that guarentee of a degree i then, hopefully, have avenues open to me to pursue if poker doesn't work out for me.

ATM i'm stuttering like Gareth Gates but i can't honestly say i haven't made any genuine efforts to pull myself out of the hole. Today i am going to grind sngs in the way i know how, to make enough money to buy the services of an online training site. With the added education should come assurance in that what i have been doing in these sngs was altogether correct but needed a little bit of fine tuning. I could live with that. If i find out i am a fish from some self important dude narrating over his plays in a mock up sng, i won't be best pleased. I wouldn't know how to tell everyone else using the site that he is wrong :P

So plan is. Go to the gym every day. Eat healthily = increased capacity to maintain concetration levels for longer. Gotta also learn from pros online through these training vids = more assurance in my own plays = more money = the want to play longer hours = when was the last time you got away with mixing maths and english through the use of a " = " sign?

Anyways i just think now this is the calm before the storm and all of a sudden this blog will turn into cringeworthy brag reading over and over and hopefully over again.

Laters

Ant