$100000 goal for 2011

Hello

Well as the title says i am going for this goal by the end of the coming year. I have not thought about the reality of such a goal, about what i would have to make in a week or month or whatever. I am just a man with a dream and a decent approach to the game every time i play and if i bog myself down with too many immediate goals in what i should make in a week or a day i would find myself putting myself under undue pressure.

I will tell you what though i will be finally documenting my ingoings and outgoings financially for the sole purpose of seeing if i do make that much this year, the fact that i am still this lazy on that front is frightening. I think with more control with organising my finances and actually seeing how everything is going i can push on with poker with more dominance knowing how much of a gift i do have with such a money making machine and not holding too many moments pondering on anything else other than pwning hardcore, not letting any doubts set in that will always have a negative affect.

I have noticed that variance isn't what has made my income in this game a little varied (i play enough hours and tables to iron this out) it is more my own confidence and somewhat susceptibility to irritability lol. What a phrase. If i combat my own demons of restlessness over such long periods of time playing by being very disciplined and stop the mantra of WHY ME? Why am i getting so unlucky, why am i feeling so stressed about playing today? Should i be playing today? All i seem to be doing here is losing (as i go all in with 72 on an unnecessary bluff). I think that i will be a fucking machine of making money and will be making it look easy.

I am not letting myself easily make money because i never make anything easy for myself so how can i expect to? Hmmmm. This is more a personal trait i have to get to grips with and i am happy to be sharing this mental breakdown with you lol.

For me to have no excuses and i can swear to you that is all i have come up with at any given point, i need to list all of the things that i think will make me ready to win at poker and then go about in winning without unnecessary overthinking.

This includes trying out holdem manager for a change. Will the insight of knowing a players history really affect my play against them or will the added screen presence of these irritating boxes prove much more detrimental in tilting me? That is a question that can be solved through actually bothering to set this all up and to stop worrying about it. Another question is if i went to the gym today will i be buzzing and more up for this grind? Yes it would. So instead of playing while thinking fuck i should have went to the gym, i go to the gym. There are other things that need to be noted as well but i notice i just need to get on with doing things rather than not and then obsessing about them.

As you may see i over analyse things until they are crushed. This is a great thing if you can hone in on this but a nightmare if you let your mind run riot.

So i have my end goal in $100,000 for the year set up. I have my finacial records ready to find out if i am going to be making that, and i have a daily routine for when i do put in a tournament shift. I am going to abide by all of them religiously so i can be content with the preparation before i start each session.

I am sorry about the length of this post, i felt i needed to get this out of the way before all of the next posts that will hopefully show you my uprise in fortunes. I have over a $20K br to play poker with at the moment and have shown a poker record in the past weeks that has made me think i can really get down to some serious business for this new year, but i have had some blemishes in the last two days of tilting that just need to be eradicated now so i can become a machine and can think about how to invest all of the money i am making without any tilting urges ever coming across me again. If i do feel like i may tilt on a certain day after i have gone to the gym, have eaten healthily and done everything right i will listen to my body and just avoid poker.

Going to see what its like to be properly prepared everytime i play poker, i think the confidence will result in unbelievable plays and even better wins, but we'll see.

I wish you all a good xmas and if i don't post again before the year is up a happy new year.

Ant.

Accidental Binkage

Hey

I wasn't feeling too good today. That is why i unregistered from my normal grind for damage limitation. Started at 5 and cancelled regging for all tourns up until 6 knowing i was tilting all over the place. I duly went out of every tourney but had accidentally remained in a 7 o clock 109f 18k gtd.

Was gutted when it popped up as i wanted an early kip and a film or summin. But it turns out i go on to win it for $4.7k. I was down $1.6k the last night i played but now this has me up nicely for the last two days. Long may this run continue.

Ant